How to keep the spark alive in your relationships

Relationships are manifestation of love within you. Love is one of the most intense emotions which dominates and defines the existence of human relationships. Relationships differ in their expression of love; it can be in the form of profound parental love, intricate bond with siblings, strong connection with friends, or passionate one with your partner. No matter what the relationship is, but it surely adds a meaning to our life.

During the commencement of a relationship, everything feels amazing and exquisite. However, with time the magical spell of the relationship starts fading and there are those moments when you wonder- why the hell you got into the relationship at the first place? Continuous endeavors are required to maintain and nurture a healthy and happy relationship.

The first and foremost element necessary for maintaining a happy relationship is mutual respect for each other. Love can only coexist with mutual respect and admiration. It is the foundation of a strong relationship and your actions should reflect the respect you have for your partner. Dr John Gray stated, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus,” so get used to the fact that you and your partner are different beings. You should learn to respect the differences of opinion and thought process.

Trust is an essential key on which the life of your relationship depends. It helps the individuals involved to have an unmatched degree of confidence in their relationship. It is the base on which every relation grows. Trust helps in providing emotional security and thus is one of the most important building blocks that nurture the relationship.

Another indispensable element is communication between the partners. Effective communication can only happen when you trust your partner. To open up our heart and confess our innermost feelings, we need to have the conviction that the person we are talking to will not let us down, no matter what. We should not anticipate that our partner is bestowed with mind reading prowess. Living in silent melancholy and not communicating what you want is both frustrating for you as well as your partner. Non addressal of vital issues leads to death of a relationship.

One of the most underrated notions is the idea of personal space in a relationship. We do not realize the importance of personal space, but its lack leads to monotony in a relationship. Personal space gives you time to celebrate your own individuality by investing time and energy in things you like doing. It is great to be with somebody whom you love but it is equally significant to have some quality time alone or with friends. It gives you something other than your relationship to talk about, when you are with your partner.

If you have common hobbies, it is an added advantage and if you don’t then do try to inculcate interest in their hobbies. Indulge in your partners interests with him as it helps you both to connect at a deeper level and showers both the partners involved with unexpected moments of love and sharing, thus strengthening the relationship.

Every relationship is different and you are the best person to discover the driving force that makes your relationship going.  Keep the romance alive by leaving small love notes or surprising each other, get bit unpredictable to spice up your love life with a pinch of excitement. So, make some efforts in analyzing your relation and keep it nurtured and healthy, both for your partner and for your own happiness.

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Pic courtesy: shareonline.in

Disaster Management in India

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Pic courtesy: indiatimes.com

The republic day celebration on 26th January 2001 in India came to a standstill when a massive earthquake left thousands of people homeless and helpless. The air became heavy with heart wrenching cries of desolation, blood stained lifeless limp human forms were seen all around and tears mixed with drool streamed down the soiled faces of motherless toddlers, whose eyes were looking for their mothers. The people of Kutch lost everything within a blink of eye, they witnessed the tragic meltdown of their dreams and aspiration in the debris of their own house and their heart was punctured with irreparable loss of their loved ones. It has been more than fifteen years but some of the scars of devastation can still be seen.
Efforts to cope up with such fatalities resulting from disasters are not in line with the frequency and magnitude of disasters. However, the last decade has seen unprecedented emergence of disaster management at global level. India too has realized the significance of proactive and preventive approach towards integrated disaster management. The quick reaction of national disaster management authority of India in June 2013 during the destructive Flood in Uttarakhand is a proof that we as a country still need to gear up our efforts to manage disasters. However, the humanitarian aid and rehabilitation thrust of the government to redevelop the Kedarnath shrine is noteworthy.
As per the world disaster Report 2009, major disasters which cause destruction of life and land are hydro meteorological events related to climate change like floods, storms triggered by cyclones, heat waves, drought etc.
If we look at disaster profiling of Indian subcontinent 85% of its area is vulnerable to disasters. Storms spawned in Arabian Sea and Bay of Bengal result in cyclones which are intensified by the coastal configuration and low depth topography of ocean bed. It leads to gales, heavy rain and intense storm surges.
Floods are perennial in Bihar, Uttar Pradesh, West Bengal, Assam and Orissa. In Indo-Gangetic- Brahmaputra plains floods render lakhs of people homeless and lead to damage of several hectares of crops.
Scanty or no rainfall leads to situations like Latur and severe droughts in arid and semi arid areas of the country which account for about 40 million hectares of land. Earthquakes resulting from crustal movement in the Himalyan region which falls in seismic zones lll-V make most of the north eastern states vulnerable to tremors. Forest fires often threat the existence of both flora and fauna.
The above mentioned disasters lead to major causalities. On the basis of their origin, they are often classified as natural and manmade disasters.
Government of India has set up two institutes in New Delhi — the National Institute of Disaster Management (NIDM) and the National Disaster Management Authority (NDMA) with an aim to mitigate the damage potential of natural disasters. Their endeavour is to control the advent of a hazard into a disaster by identifying its causes and minimizing or preventing its damaging impact. To accomplish this some administrative policies are introduced which govern the existence of overcrowded buildings in earthquake prone zone; land, vegetation and drainage planning in flood prone areas and certain laws regulate various facilities to minimize the risk of disasters. The Disaster Management Act 2005 has been instrumental in providing a legal and institutional framework for disaster management in India at various levels. The federal policy of India clearly illustrates that the prime accountability of disaster management rests with the State Governments. The Central Government precisely monitors the policies and guidelines including requirement of technical, financial and logistic support. Most of the operations are carried out in collaboration with central and state level agencies.
Tragically, statistics are an indication that the present disaster management plans have so far focused on the post disaster period of rescue, rehabilitation and reconstruction rather than preventing deaths. There is need to link disaster management and development plans, keeping in view the three phases of disaster management i.e. pre crisis, during crisis and post- crisis. Probably planning in advance and carrying out informative drills and workshops to deal with unforeseen disasters can result in prompt response and can minimize substantial loss of lives during calamities. Sustainable Development and preparedness to combat a natural crisis can reduce the impact of disaster.

Quick Tips to combat dental pain when your dentist is out of reach

Ogden Nash very well explained the pain of a person suffering from dental issues in his poem- “This is going to hurt just a little bit”. I seriously wish somebody should have written on how to stop that throbbing dental pain when you can’t pay an immediate visit to your dentist but want quick relief. I being one of the person, who suffered from dental issues since my eighth grade,is writing few tested tips which will help you ease out that horrible pain and believe me, these tips are damn quick in providing much needed relief.

1- Every kitchen has cloves if not clove oil. Pressing a clove between your teeth (including the aching one) helps out in easing the pain. If you have clove oil, take just two drops in a cotton ball and press it between your teeth. The wonder working agent in clove/clove oil is eugenol which numbs the veins of the gums thus easing out the pain.

2-Salt has got both healing and cleaning properties. My Granny used to advocate the usage of a pinch of salt with a drop or two of mustard oil as an effective teeth cleanser. Hence, a mouthwash made from glass full of warm water with a heaped table spoon of salt helps in recuperating from dental pain.

3-Chewing gum is less known for shiny teeth (if we don’t believe in gimmicky ads) more for preventing bad breath (no wonder people prefer them post lunch and before meetings) but here I have another good use of Chewing gum. Sometimes the cause of hypersensitivity or pain could be that your cavity filling has come out of its place and needs refilling. In such cases pressing a non-sugar chewing gum over the damaged area will not only help out in soothing the pain but will also help in protecting the cavity area by protecting food deposits in it.

4-Chewing a piece of ginger is a quick way to get relief from dental pain. Applying paste of garlic on the area is also known to give good results though personally I find it bit cumbersome.

Hope the above tips come to your rescue in combating toothache during those tough nights when your dentist is out of reach.

BEING GRAND IS PRACTICALLY NOT SO GRAND

Date: 24th September 2009 Time: 1:30 PM Place: Café Coffee Day, Karol Bagh Metro station, New Delhi
She was an old lady, somewhere in her early seventies. Her back was a bit arched either due to old age or it was merely an illusion caused by the hump on her back. Her left eye seemed to be devoid of an eyeball owing to the duskiness caused by prolonged cataract. Her silver hair was tied loosely in a thin braid. A grey bag hanged from her left shoulder and she was desperately trying to push open the glass door of the café. She tried thrice before a girl helped her with the door.
She entered the café, scanned the surroundings with her right eye & placed her grey bag on an empty table. She stood there for a moment, deep in her own thoughts. Finally she went up to the counter and said something. The waiter looked perplexed & he bent himself over the counter & whispered to which the lady replied–“EK Garam Coffee”. There was something primitive in her tone,
the waiter smiled gently & nodded warmly.
The lady seated herself near her bag. After a while she stood up & called – “Gaurav-Gaurav”. She then walked up to the glass door & struggled with it, realizing that her voice might not be audible to the kid who was buying something from the small snack counter just in front of the café. She pushed the door, peeped outside & chanted – “Gaurav-Gaurav”
The 12 year old kid turned his head & his eyes read surprise & undefined humiliation. He walked inside with a brown paper bag & a face red either with the heat outside or with indignation. He asked her something with a stern face. She replied meekly to which he retorted-“ Yahan bahut mehngi hoggi”
In the meantime, the waiter came & placed the coffee tray on the table lying between them. The lines on her face deepened with an unquestioned grief. She lifted the sugar sachet slowly with a wrinkled hand and a heavy heart. The kid who was perhaps her grandson took it from her, read it & tore it open into the steaming brown liquid.
The lady took the stirrer from the tray observed it closely before stirring the coffee. Finally, she gave a toothless smile & started sipping her coffee noisily.
Though the kid was noticeably furious, yet he managed to stare blankly at her. She finished her coffee, tilted her cup a bit & encircled the brim with her index finger before licking it with satisfaction on her face. The kid grumbled-“Ho gaya ho toh aab chalen”.
She then pulled out a weathered purse from insides of her light green Kameez and extracted a 10 Rs. note. The kid almost snatched her purse & extracted a 50 Rs. note & walked to the counter & paid for the coffee. He collected some change & walked straight out of the door. After a moment the lady stood, she took a deep breath, smiled & hanged her grey bag over her shoulder. She went out and this time without struggling with the glass door.
Old age is a phenomenon with which nobody can escape yet we forget it & sometimes ill-treat our elders without realizing that it hurts them. In our ego, we even ignore those small deeds which bring joy to them. When you are with your grand parents don’t forget that one day you are going to be with your grandsons/granddaughters

Matheran – An Eco Paradise

The Mumbai local running on the slow central track of Mumbai Pune link came to an abrupt halt with a mild screeching noise and it was time for us to de- board at Neral. The station was serene in contrast to the fast city life of Mumbai & looked like a scene from a regional flick with few women wearing traditional ‘Laguda’ some of them carrying a fish basket over their head while some of them walked swiftly with huge overstuffed ‘Jholas’ .

We came out of the station, crossed the parking lot & entered a narrow lane with strings of small wooden shops on either side selling fresh Vada Pavs. The aroma of garlic & chilies rising from this famous Maharastrian street snacks was so alluring that we bought them, despite the ugly sight of the shopkeepers hands dipped in yellow dough & the way he wrapped the snacks in an old but clean newspaper. Ten minutes later, we were in a cab on our way from Neral to Matheran entry point still relishing the tongue tingling taste of Vada Pav. The journey was hardly of 20 to 30 minutes & our cab sashayed through curved roads giving full view of hillocks on which the vegetation gleamed in golden sunlight.

We reached Dasturi, which is officially the entry point of Matheran & also the last point till which vehicles are allowed. Matheran not only boasts of being the smallest hill station in India but is also a vehicle free zone and has been declared an eco-sensitive region, by the Ministry of Environment and Forest, Government of India. Its proximity to Mumbai makes it a favorite weekend getaway for the urban population.

We were late by fifteen minutes & unfortunately missed our pre booked journey of the colorful & enchanting toy train from Dasturi to Matheran. So, we were left at Dasturi, with other tourists surrounded by numerous porters, rickshawalas & horse owners bargaining like a housewife at the local grocery shop. We hired two sturdy horses, with glistening muscles which rippled at their slightest of movement .The horses galloped on the dusty road lined with wildflowers with numerous butterflies, towering trees & macaque monkeys hopping from one branch to other seeking opportunity to grab any of your belonging which remotely resembled an edible item.
On the way from Dasturi to the top of Matheran, one finds numerous points worth visiting. Our first halt was Panorma point which provides a breathtaking view of hills with river Ulhas flowing alongside. It’s also known as Sunrise point. Our Horseman was self proclaimed guide & he requested us to halt at Monkey point to get a close view of numerous coexisting gangs of monkeys to which we politely declined. However, we enjoyed his informative chatter & he stated that Matheran was discovered in 1850 by Hugh Poyntz Malet who was the district collector of Thane. The credit of developing Matheran goes to the British government who saw it as a destination to beat the summer heat. Being a hill station it is pleasant almost throughout the year however winter nights can get a bit chilly.

Our next destination was the Honeymoon Point about which it is said that a British official once actually arranged his honeymoon there & later the point was used for apiculture. We shouted our lungs out at the Echo point and somehow managed the risky walk to the steep One tree hill were you can see only one big tree growing like a king. It is said that there are total 38 lookout points out of which worth enjoying are points like Louisa point, Malang Point, Alexander point, Artist point, Khandala Point, porcupine point, little chowk point etc.

It was almost six in the evening when we reached Matheran Market, where you can see general stores, medical stores, shops selling packaged drinking water, snacks counters, small restaurants & in addition to it you will find numerous shops selling female sneakers were you can place orders by selecting your design from a wide range of miniatures which look like barbie’s footwear’s. It was quite dark & we were too tired when we reached ‘Rugby’ the official Guest house of Ambani’s where we had a quite dinner. While the other guests chattered & danced to the live music around a warm bonfire, we retreated to our cottage which had an old world charm with high wooden ceiling, big French windows & a small portico. In no time we were fast asleep averse to the background singing of crickets & howling of stray dogs or maybe wild beasts.
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DIY- shorts from old jeans

Here is a quick way to give a new look to your old jeans by converting it into shorts

Requirement – Old Jeans, Scissors, Sewing machine, 1.5 – 2 meter lace, thread

Step 1 : Take Any of your old jeans that you don’t wear anymore , probably its gone out of fashion or is damaged on the knee or below knee.

Step 2 : Cut it a inch more than the regular size of your favorite shorts , fold it 1/2 inch and stich it with the lace which you have picked for giving this a new look.

Step 3 : Add one more layer as shown in the picture of the lace , you may create a pattern of your choice, if the lace is broader then one layer towards the end would also do.

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“F” Encyclopedia’s………………What’s that?

‘Hey! Babes How you doing?” the guy with a spiky hairdo beamed. “Fucking bad….., this bloody heat sucks man” came a husky reply from the gal wearing purple colored lenses that matched her equally purple nail paint.
Oh! What a horrible color to wear on such a sunny day when you can just make an oamlate by breaking an egg on your palm. I thought to myself which I often do in public.This was the fourth time I came across the wild usage of ‘F’ terminology that too within a week’s time. More interestingly all the user’s who came under my scrutiny were females either at the metro stop or while I was taking a short cut from Janpath or while shopping from East Delhi Mall . We being humans tend to note something which is unusual and so do I.
Now you will ask what’s so unusual about it?. I somehow don’t have brains big enough to understand the logic behind the casual usage.Even some of our college going guys & birds seem to have done their Masters in ‘F’ology. I don’t know from were they got their classes & degrees. And some of our hunks are mobile encyclopedias of this ‘F’ mania.

Though I sincerely advocate “Equal rights for both males & females” but somehow can’t digest it when I hear those F words from a fair sex. May be it’s the deep rooted ideology of being Indian that expect girls to be soft-spoken and sophisticated or its that……I just don’t know. .Either our generation neXt (oozing with too much of X factor) thinks that – The stronger their “F” dictionary is the more hap they are OR it’s something which gives them edge over others.